I may not be able to take it down the throat like that blonde girl that’s all over tumblr, but I suppose that’s why it’s so important to practice. This is a (short) video of me practicing.
Less than 100 followers away from 4k and yet this is what I promised for 3k. Husband (gently) insisted that I post something tonight.
I’m trying to get through my anxiety about this. With every new step comes new doubts. This isn’t a particularly raunchy video- in fact, I’m sure nearly every hetero/bi/kinky lesbian girl who has been in a long distance relationship has made this video at one point or another. For me, though, it’s a gateway to something else.
It’s the same as every other step down in my degradation I’ve had so far. At first the idea is foggy; the conception that something may happen to me (with my tentative consent) begins to build. The dreamy idea has a haze over it that makes it safe and far away. This is the fantasy. (How fun would it be to post naughty photos?) As it comes into sharper focus, it is good and bad. (How awful would it be if this had some terrible negative consequence in my real life?)
No longer a dream, you have to face reality in order to continue pursuit of the idea. There are negative aspects. There always are. The haze is comforting- you never have to wonder about the reality of it. You can stay there forever.
Even with the downsides, though, it’s just so much clearer here. To me, it’s worth the anxiety.